Finding-Ourselves - inspirational writings, thoughts, poems, and quotes by Greg Campisi

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

10/8/07
Remember the Love

Our memories create our lives. They are all we have left of our past, but memories are more then just flashes of a life passing by. They are the road map between where we have been, and how we got to where we are now. We base our present and future on our perception of the memories of events and people in our lives. There are so many memories we have, good and bad, that effect us every day. We sit around with friends and reminisce about "good old times", and we sit with our loved ones looking back on vacations, weddings, and other events. We may see our children and wish to remember when they were very little - running around happy, naked, and carefree. We have so many extraordinary memories to be thankful for, and we smile, laugh, even cry as we think back and relive those times. Even when we are alone with our thoughts, it’s a great way to review all the goodness in our lives. Some memories may have been lost in the recesses of our minds, but so many memories are always right in front us, distracting ourselves from our daily routine… but what plagues our mind and distracts us the most? How often do we find ourselves mulling over unforgiving thoughts, visions, and memories of frustrating and hurtful things?

We all have plenty of days filled with happy memories to occupy our thoughts. But how often do we think about things in our lives, and only see the many confrontations, arguments, and misunderstandings that frustrate us, and dig away at our heart? Sometimes the smallest disagreement can become the most predominant thought in your head, and the more painful a memory is, the longer it consumes our mind. If we look at people from our past like old friends and flames that are no longer in our lives, if it ended badly, this becomes the focus of the thoughts that flood our mind and drown out the loving memories we shared with that person. We seem to have a tendency to allow the pain to define our memories and thoughts, rather then our joy. We often allow our heartaches to overwhelm us, allow our sadness and grief to overcome us, and allow our losses, failures, and fears to take control. They consume our present thoughts and actions, and affect our future as well.

It is these types of memories that hold us back from peace and happiness. Take an old lover for example. We've all had relationships that didn't work. Regardless of where that relationship is now, or how it ended, there was a time when it was pure joy. Regardless of any pain we may be associating with that person, there was a reason it first started, and there was a reason for staying together. As we grow closer to each other, we gain the "privilege" of experiencing the whole of that person, baggage included. It’s just a natural process; the closer you get to each other, the more of every side you become exposed to. We even begin to project our frustrations and baggage onto that person. Once we begin to see the “other side” of someone, we allow this new view to take over the relationship, and it can pull us apart, and lead to heartbreak, cheating, or worse. But when all is said and done, and we go our separate ways, the relationship is nothing more then a memory. It no longer exists except for our minds and no one else will ever share our own experience and memory of it.

It is those types of experiences that we seem to hold on to, especially when the wound is fresh. It is those memories that scar us, taint us, and put fear into our hearts of seeing it happen again… yet it is still nothing more then a memory. It is our choice to hold on to that memory, that pain, and that experience. Only we can chose to let it guide our lives down a darker path, or we can forgive and let it go. Regardless, the memory that becomes predominant is ours for the choosing. It is our choice to see either the hurtful end of the relationship, letting that bitterness turn our hearts black and allowing the pain and tears to wash us into depression and anger, or we can replay the good times we had with that person. We can choose to go back to the beginning, and remember the fun and the love. It was always there, because if the love wasn’t there in the beginning, the pain wouldn’t be here now. We need to realize that all the things we fell in love with is still inside that person. Just because we got in each other’s way somehow, doesn’t mean it’s gone. That is what we need to find, remember, and hold on to. When we think about that person, we need to re-focus our thoughts on the joy and remember the love. Allow that to guide us moving forward; the pain will only hold us back.

Even some of the things that have hurt me in the past, have actually helped to make me a better person, and to want more for myself and for others. It has helped to make me more understanding, more compassionate, and more loving. We are made of our past, and those memories have the ability to empower us, or cripple us... and it's always our choice. In our lives, in every memory, and in every current and future event and relationship, it is important to see past the flaws, the sarcasm, judgment, pain and heartache, and see the good in all people and every situation. If we are still holding a grudge or holding onto any pain, next time it comes up, remember what brought that person into your life in the first place, and what kept them there. If we could move forward each day with those little moments of joy and love in our minds and hearts, our lives would be very different. We don’t realize how often a painful memory affects not just us, but it affects everyone we come in contact with. If we walk around with hurt in our heart, we not only drive ourselves crazy with the what if’s and the I should have’s, but we also project that out to the world around us. Holding on to pain not only poisons us, but it poison’s everything in our lives.

I look back at the “bad” events in my life, and choose a new past to remember. Whether it’s an old painful memory resurfacing, or something fresh in the mind, take a conscious moment to focus on something better. Even if it was only a small instant, if it is a memory of that person that can put a smile on your face, hold that in your mind and your heart, and allow the others to fade away.